My photo
I write a lot. Every seconds, every hours, every day, every month. But I realize you won't come back.



Mudahnya hari - hari yang telah berlari
yang tidak peduli akan rasa pedih dan sembap wajah
kita masih diam - diam bertanya
akan segala alur dan tulisan yang terang - terangan
hanya untuk kita

ini bukan ratapan agung yang kau hingarkan
ada saja kita bisa ketemu
pada masa yang telah dibentangkan
di hadapan kita yang ralit menjengah awan
dan aku hanya ingin tersenyum
menahan gelora waktu hening itu.


Seeking. Not you.

seeking for the new colour and beautiful brightness in me.

And I don't want it to relate with you anymore.

Although I am betraying myself.

But I have to.


Le Confession

"I miss him so much. I wish he was with me. Not at this moment in this room, but at this moment in my life. I wish he was someone i could call up, or even text to say "Hey" or "I'm having a bad day" and he would be the one who cared, who listened, who spoke to me whenever i needed someone. I wish his hand was the one i held when i walked out in public. I wish he was the one i saw before i fell asleep at night and he was the last i kissed good night, yet, be the first one to wish me good morning and wake me up with a kiss on the forehead. I wished he missed me like how i miss him right now. I wish he thought of me like how i think of him almost every single day. I wish things didn't have to end the way it did 8 months ago. I wish him wanting me back in his life like how i am secretly wanting him back in mine. Not knowing why something had to end is the worst thing and the hardest thing to get over because you will never have something as a closure. I wonder every single day if he feels the same. I wonder how can he not even want to know how am i doing? How can he just turn and walk away when he sees me from afar when neither him or me did anything wrong? Sometimes, i tell myself that he does miss me. I may be living in my own bubble, world, whatever. But thinking as such, makes me happy and smile, even if it was just a few seconds smile. I miss you and i hope so badly that i could let you know and ask you if you ever missed me or even thought about me...
Also, I hope you read this and know that I am talking about you. This is for you, and i meant every single word i said. Not just here, but whatever i said during the whole 1 and a half years we were together. I wish you meant what you said as well."

the same feeling.I do not know who confess this but you can read it through University of Malaya confessions


Musim aneh


setelah dua musim yang panjang
aku masih mampu meratap tangis
kehilangan yang menyiksa segala deria wanitaku


kau kadang - kadang muncul mendendang irama suka - suka
namun kau lebih kerap
hilang dan dingin